"Huff that feces!"
An interview with Fred Flintstone.

Mr. Fred Flintstone,

I have been watching you. You seem sexually attracted to molecular penises and orc pawns. Is that true?

HELL NO! NOW IF ANYONE ASKS A NOTHER FUCKING TIME, I'll MAKE HIS OR HER PENIS PULSE IN PUBLIC! SO DON'T MAKE MY ASS LUST FOR DICK!!! I HAVE NO ORC PAWN FETISH!!! NEXT!!!

Fred Flinstone,

I have always wondered what EJ stands for, could you tell me?



WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU TALKING ABOUT? EJ MEANS ELEPHANT JACK-OFF? WHAT ARE YOU PREOCUPIED WITH ELTON JOHN OR SOMETHING? IS IT MY LOT IN LIFE TO LISTEN TO YOUR PERVERTED SPEECH? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MAKE ME LOOK GAY? NEXT!

To Fred Flinstone:

I really want to know something: Do you enjoy Dino licking you on the chest every time you walk in the door? And when you yell, "Honey, I'm home!" are you talking to Dino?

WHAT? ARE YOU SUGGESTING I'M SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MY GODDAMN DINOSAUR PET? WHAT ARE YOU? SOME KIND OF STRAIGHT PERSON, ER I MEAN SICKO? DO YOU ACTUALY THINK I WOULD ENJOY THAT? HIS NASTY SEMEN GETTING ALL OVER MY BELLY? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I HATE YOUR ARROGENCE! NOW IF SOMEONE SENDS ME ANOTHER FUCKING LETTER ABOUT ME INSULTING YOU FAGGOTS I'M GOING TO SEND THEM A GODDAMN POKEMON TO KILL THEM!! NEXT!


Hey Fred Flintstone,

I want to kno-

WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU ADDRESSING ME BY SAYING "HEY"? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF BACKWATER REDNECK? YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME GODDAMN ENGLISH YOU RUDE MISPERNOUCING ASSHOLE! THE GODDAMN STUFF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH!!! NO HONOR THESE DAYS!!! NEXT!

Mr. Fred Flinstone,

I want to know what is with you wearing the same creepy shirt every day, must it get smelly?

WHAT THE HELL? CREEPY!!! WELL I'LL GIVE YOU CREEPY!

STOP! NO VIOLINCE! THIS IS THE POLICE!!

And with that Fred shot out a beam of horror that consumed the person and then let out a rage that teethed everyone in the galaxy, thereby making it where it was impossible to cock-nibble. THE END.

"How Elton John stole straightness"

Every Poo down in Poo-ville liked straightness a lot… But Elton, who lived just north off Poo-Ville, did not! Elton hated straightness, the whole straightness season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his chest hairs weren’t screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his thong was a little too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his penis was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, his dick or his ooze, he stood there on Columbus Day, hating the Poos. Staring down from his cave with a homo, fag frown, at the warm lighted windows below at their town. For he knew every Poo down in Poo-Ville beneath, was busy now, eating a Heath. "And they're hanging their onions!" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is fag day, and not one of them is queer! Then he growled, with his fag fingers fagging, "I must stop Onions from gagging!" For, tomorrow, he knew… All the Poo girls and boys, would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their loins! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh the noise! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! That's one thing he hated, all the un-used gay sex toys. Then the Poos, young and old, would sit down to feast. And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! They would eat Poo-Pudding, and rare Who-roast-the-ass! Which was something Elton John hated like grass! And then, they'd do something he least liked of all! Every Poo down in Poo-ville, the tall and the small, would stand close together, with massive cod-loins. They'd stand hand-in-hand, and burn gayness-sex-toys. And they'd burn and they'd burn and they'd BURN BURN BURN BURN! And the more Elton thought of this burning of fags, the more Elton thought, "I must stop those horrible hags! But how… But how…?" Then he got an idea, an AWFUL idea! Elton just got a horrible, faggot idea! I know just what to do, the fag laughed down his gills. "I'll just make them swallow a few gayness-pills! What a great faggly trick!" With these pills and these oils, I'll just look just like Saint Dick!" "All I need is a dildo…" Elton looked around. "But, since they're all up me, there's none to be found." Did that stop EJ? NO! The fag simply said. "If I can't find a dildo, I'll make one instead!" So he got out his ooze and his horrible mold, and he made a fag dildo that smelled a-thousand-years-old. Then, he loaded some sacks and some empty brown bags as he said to himself, "I shall make them ALL fags!" All their windows were dark. Quiet farts filled the air. And the Poos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care. He found a crude house with a smell like old farts and he knew in and instant it was owned by some Xvarts. Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight fit. But if Gothwer could do it, so could his shit. The he stuck his head out of the fireplace ho, were the little Poo's onions, right in a row. "These onions," he farted, "are the first things to go!" The he slithered and slunk, with a fart most gay, he crept all around the whole room, he took all their pay! Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Poo's meal! He took the Poo-Pudding! He took the corn meal! He cleaned out their septic tanks as quick as a flash! Why, that fag even took the last can of Butthash! Then he stuffed the food up the chimney with glee. "And NOW!" grinned EJ, "I shall take all their pee!" And Elton John grabbed a dildo, and he started to shove, when he smelled a foul stench, like that of a glove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Poo! Little Cindy Loo-Poo, who was no more than two. And Elton had been caught by this tiny Poo daughter who'd got out of bed to get some fresh water. She stared at EJ and said, "Fruity fag, why, why are you shoving a dildo so fast? WHY? But, you know, that old EJ was so smart and so quick, he flashed in a hurry, he showed off his dick! The repulsed little Poo fell to the ground, and for the rest of her life, never mumbled a sound. Then he did the same thing to the other Poo's houses. And left smaller farts for all of their grouses. It was quarter past dawn… all the Poos, still a-sleep, still a-snooze, when he packed up his butt, with a glob of green ooze. The hashiesh, the ribbons, the fags! And the grimy old knotted sock that was shoved up a Krag! 22 inches up! Up the side of Mt. Oozeit. He rode with his load to the tiptop to lose it! "Poo-Poo to the Poo's!" he was faggilsy humming. "Their finding out now that no straightness is coming! They're just waking up! I'll know just what they'll do! Their mouth's will hang open a minute or to, just to have other people shove in it poo! Then they will all cry in a moaning way! That's a noise," grinned Elton, "That just HAS to be gay!" So he paused. And Elton put his hand to his crotch. And he DID hear a sound pounding over the snow! It started in low, then it started to grow!" But the sound was so fag! More fag than he thought! When he finally realized his wish had come true, he looked down in the village of Poo! He saw a great boom box, a very large nookie, and in fact it was playing his very own song, Orc Pawn Boogie! And what happened then…? Well, in Poo-Ville they say, that Elton John's penis grew 3 sizes that day! And the minute his G-String didn't feel quite so tight, He wizzed with a new load thought the bright morning light! He brought them dildos! He brought them fart-bags! He even decided to throw in some inflatable fags! And he… HE HIMSELF…! Elton John fagged a sea-fag! THE END



Orc Pawn Curse!

Jon Arbuckle was angry because he suspected his cat Garfield was straight. He was comforting himself by putting many fag objects up his butt when Garfield came in the room. "WHO'S YOUR MAN!"? Jon said and held out his hands to him in a fag way. Garfield put his nose in the air and huffed to the other room and started looking up porn. Jon followed him secretly and looked around the corner. Garfield was looking up…. STRAIGHT PORN!!! Jon was furious! He went to his room and started weeping. "Garfield! He doesn't love me! I want Garfield!" he screamed as he shoved
fruity things deep in his crack. "I CANT LET HIM BE STRAIGHT!!!!!!! NOOOOO!" Then Arbuckle got an idea. "I know" he thought. "I'll give him a botched circumcision!" He got out his circumcision kit he bought from Elton John's gadget channel and crept back to Garfield's room. He ran up to his cat and put his butt on his mouth and blasted a wicked fart into it that made Garfield pass out right away. Then he prayed to Zeus for guidance as he performed the gay operation. Little Richard's spirit encircled his house and porcelain turds exploded against it in a gay rage. Foggy dildos and burning testicals watched from above as he sliced his dick. EJ was rejoicing all the way in India. Samurai from the fag ages came out of a generator and helped Arbuckle finish it off. Then a Lord Of Feces gave him the death certificate of his dick. Clowns laughed and beanstalks grew up butts. Yoda himself came down on a cloud and mooned Jon and groped him with the Force. Mist wolves went up his butt and the homo ritual was complete. Garfield woke up and stared at his crotch. "NOOOOOOOOOooooooooo." He said and started chanting queer words. In an instant his dick regenerated and Garfield got up. "How dare you," he said. He opened his mouth and 17 tongues flew out of it and smashed against Jon's face. Jon screamed in agony as hot tea came out of Garfield's dick and scalded his bellybutton as it siphoned down it. Then Garfield grew to the size of the house and sat on Jon and he went up his butt. Goblin Wizards started casting fag spellz of gayness and a moron shot grotesque energy out of his peehole that instantly turned Jon's eyes into molten gold. Then a fag arm oozed out of the wall and grabbed Jon and pulled him in. He suddenly found himself in an operation room. Men in pink were leaning over him with awful tools and utensils. He screeched and tried to escape as they started to remove his gayness gland. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I WISH I HADN'T GIVEN GARFIELD A BOTCHED CIRSUMCISION!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Suddenly Jon woke up in his bed. He looked down in his butt. His gland was still there! He hugged his inflatable fag and decided to go make Garfield some semen for breakfast. THE END




"The Scarlet Pumpernickel!"

One day King Sau-Chai was playing Queen's Court with his fruity jester when a horrid fag burst into the Hall of Much Faggings. "Dammit what the fuck is going on you fag get out I must have an audience with EJ for your faggly trick now get out Out OUT!!!" the King roared in a fag rage as Fruity Pebbles gloomed around the room and Fred Flinstone fagged Barney Rubble in the pee-hole with a spiky comb. The horrid fag roared as a bishop's hat appeared on his head and a robe fagged around his foreskin. "ARRRGH!! YOU HAVE ANGERED THE CHURCH OF SODOMY!!! TALKING TO THE PRIME JUDICATOR OF FAGS IS… HAROSY!!! SEIZE THIS TRAITOR AND BRING HIM TO THE TEMPLE OF SODOMY!!! HE MUST BE PUNISHED!!!" the crystalline-cocked fag boomed as a spirit of a vasty fag raged in his testical and a fag's appendix burst into a raging inferno. Horrible chains lashed around the fag king's arms and a cloud of semen blasted him to the Church of Much Sodomy. He fell on a gay chair and the Bishop of Foreskins raged out of a pot of burning spices. "Now! Place your hand on the Bible of Arch-Fags and swear to tell the truth!" the fag said. "NEVER!!!" replied the King in an orc-legionnaire's voice. "Alright then!!!" a fag groaned and a horrible Witchaven-lord-Merlin-fag blasted out of a closet and pushed the King onto a horrible bed. "Now! Feel the straight person enter you! Eternal damnation of straightness will soon be upon you until you confess how many orc pawns you were not with last night!" "OH FINE I CONFESS!!! 22 to be exact." "WHAT!!! 22 ORCS LEFT OUT OF AN ORGY!!! THIS IS A CRIME OF ALL CRIMES AND A CRIME OF ALL CRIMES TO COME!!! ARRRGGHH!!! TAKE HIM AWAY!!! HE SHALL BURN AT THE DILDO FOR THIS HEROSY!!! A vicious moan spread out of the ground, and a barbaric-sized fag rose out of a vat of grape juice and the Man of Much Sodomy appeared. "Oh great and powerful Man of Much Sodomy! We must tell you of this heretic fag! "YES! HE MUST BE PUNISHED!!! NOW!!!" A giant booming arm came out of the Man of Much Sodomy's ass and grabbed the King and tied him up to an ivory dildo. He began to chant fag chants and condoms and vasty porcelain turds were upon the fruit monarch. An orange rind eased away and many a cathiter bag exploded around the pile of used gay condoms smothered in vasty oils and scrolls that read: "Roses are red, Violets are blue. If you don't fag orc pawns, you'll be smothered in poo!" Pee and Poo were soon around and a blast of fag fire shot out of the Man of Much Sodomy's pee-hole. When the fag fire almost reached the King, a powerful kick landed on the fag god's testicals. It was El Fag!!! The fruit King rejoiced, and El Fag unbuckled his chains' with his Chastity belt lock-picks. A gruesome wail moaned out of the MMS's pee-hole, and a vasty beam of awful fag energy expulsed from El Fag's screaming hand exploded against his chest and vaporized his chest hairs. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the fag moaned as an ivory door opened and a gay hand reached out and grabbed him. A large pendulum sliced his foreskin, as he was being drug into the horrid Plane of Straights. "ARRGHH! I SHALL NOT GO ALONE!!! RETRIBUTION!!!!" The fag screamed as he grabbed the King's dick and pulled him into the void with him. Horrid moans sealed the door and vaporized the key. They were never seen again, except by the Scoutmaster, who was indeed very gay. THE END!






”SUPERMAN: MAN OF STEEL BARS”

One day Superman was fagging crash dummies to no end when Sir Sodomy rode into the room on a unicycle. “Hail thee ye faggot.” Sir Sodomy said. “I have a message of much grotesque auras that is sure to make your testes break out in vasty warts and turn your chest hairs goldén!” He handed Superman a shimmering dildo with arcane runes etched in them and whooshed out the door on a cushion of ghastly farts. Superman examined the runed dildo for almost ten seconds and then shoved it deep in his crack as he does with all things. Suddenly there was a moan from his crotch and pink fire seared a hole in his Elton John panties, and the Teeny Little Super Guy blasted out and landed on a Daffy Duck beanbag. The TLSG started swingin’ as Leonardo DiVinci clones appeared around him in Hawaiian shirts and leather thongs. Then he raged out in a vasty voice of stained toilet paper as he sang his queer song out of his butt:


Teeny Little Super Guy!
Out of your crotch he will fly
He’s no bigger than your thong
Slash your wiener here I come!
I’ll fag you when this song is done
Don’t look at the poo don’t look at the pee;
He’s inside of you and me.
Did I ever tell you about the crime?
You can’t fag orc pawns when you die!
Just a Teeny Little Super Guyyyy!
Ohhh yea.

Then the TLSG winked at Superman and shoved a suppository up his butt. His glands creaked and his beard started to grow and grow until it filled the entire room and suffocated the Leonardo DiVinci clones. Luckily Superman was prepared for such a vasty trick. He oozed his head up his butt and started breathing in air from his cavity. “Nooo, foiled dammit you’ll never leave here alive, Superfag!!” The vasty dwarf raged as pins shot out of his armpits in every direction and up pee holes they went. But Superman summoned a shield of barbs around him to absorb the blow and they moaned as they had multiple orgazmos at once till the TLSG nearly flew into a rage from all the energy. The sweaty fag got up in a daze and shook his tiny fist at the huge fag. “That’s it. NOW YOU PAY!” He howled and then he pulled a gong out of his underwear and smashed it with a fake cock. Suddenly there was a blast of farts and feces as a huge pulsating Kryptonite fag attacked Superman’s dick with much energy as a member of the clergy chanted in his earlobes. “NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo.” Superman moaned as his eyes turned into throbbing testicles and his warts fell off and turned into shriveled raisins. Music majors were summoned into the house and threw darts at Superman until the grape jeuce began to leak. Vicious glooms and jealous superheroes and turned down goblin wizards joined in the slaughter. Superman began to rage as his muscles flew off and his skeleton turned into dried poo. Po’s and Munchkins bit off his Dynasty amulets and chunked them in a pit of water. Semen blasted out of the tiny volcanoes on a Warty One and it hit Superman square in the groin. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRWOAWAWOWOHWOHWOWWOHWOHWOHWOHWOAHWOAWOAWAOwoawaoawaooawowafennichio!” screamed Superman in a final groan as his chest split in two and winged monkeys flew out. The Pope came in to congratulate all and Hanson performed live for two weeks in a row.
THE END

“Fags for you ALL!!!!!!”

One day Tethtoril was making love to his favorite piece of dried feces when he suddenly felt a slight wheezing fit coming on. He grabbed for his orc foreskin handkerchief but suddenly he started coughing up semen and clots of blood with tiny fag things written on them. He felt his testes begin to rot and his chest hairs started evaporating into a gay mist that smelled like half orcs bathing in oozy wet farts. Suddenly he reached for his emergency piece of solid OPS and swallowed. “Phew! That was almost too much! I think I can get to the bottom of this! GORION!!!!” he screamed as his teeth blasted out and his throat lining turned in to dust. He could see Gorion coming over the hill on his magic sword while he consumed Jedi Lords. “Okay you fag what is the meaning of this!” Tethtoril said in such a stern way that it would even make the MMS shutter. “What is what?” Gorion said as he gobbled up the last Jedi Lord. “This poisoned turd you sent me for my birthday! You jealous fag how dare you try to poison me! When I won that game show and the prize was 1000 Gobs!! I knew you would try to take them! FAG!!!! You fag you are so filthy rich just go buy some damn gobs don’t kill me and take mine! You’ve been after my fags for 22 days now and it’s enough! First, the straw hat that had PINS in it that almost pierced my skull! Then the Witchaven CD with nerve gas in it! Also there was that time when you sent me a runed dildo with the TLSG!!!!! Not to mention that one time when I received a package from you with an orc head that almost bit my chest hairs off! But! ENOUGH IS TO MUCH! I SHALL KRAG AND SCAG YOU!” Tethtoril roared so loud that Gorion’s 225411188-acre estate blew down and the mountains on earth were flattened by the blast of sick noises from Tethtoril. Tethtoril gathered his slimy energies and a huge fag bolt of opium lighting shot down out of Zeus’s butt and smashed against Gorion. Then he farted and let out a gay burp that made a blinding red light come out of his pee hole and burn off Gorion’s chest hairs and then he stamped his feet in a rage of mages as the ground began to rumble and Gorion fell into a hole that had happened from the gay earthquake. Tethtoril began sending thoughts to the waves and the fish and the dolphins and the glooms and huge waves of water filled the hole and began to eat away at Gorion’s robes. Tethtoril finished him of with a fag fury that made the GBT shoot down burning semen and turn the water into solid kryptonite. He pulled out his prize of Gorion crystallized in a cube of Kryptonite and stuck it in his butt for him to treasure for eternity… or so we think… THE END.

“Oh I LOVE my songs and poems now listen to one of them!”

One day The Vonsé Vunswa was eating lasagna, and of course, he was butt naked and goblins were tickling his butt with queer egret feathers. Suddenly there was a tap at his window and he opened the window and a poo pie hit him square in the tongue. “OOOWWWWWWW!!” he screamed because the poo was really hard and porcelain as well. A huge fag jumped into the window and with his magic axe that had many gay fags drawn on it he slew the gobs and shoved their feathers up his butt. He danced around while he smashed a gong and he began to sing:


AINCENT FAGS AND BURNING KRAGS!
GROPING CLONES AND MANY HAGS!
BAGS OF SMEGMA TONS OF TURDS!
AND EJ IS MAKING LOVE TO BIRDS!
GOBLINS ARE HERE AND GOBLINS ARE THERE!
FAGGOTS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!
INDIAN GIVERS MAKE LOVE ALL DAY!
TO A GOBLIN WIZARD THAT’S REALY GAY!!!
Ha ha haahah…..

Then he shoved his tomahawk up his butt and suddenly he transformed into Chief Bullfagger! He started raging and in a gay fury he made whirlwind come out of his butt and tear up the Vonsé Vunswa’s songs and poems! “NO!!! HOW DARE YOU!” TVV blasted out as he pulled out his magic javelin from his pink lace bra and thrust it at the grotesque Native American. But Chief Bullfagger began farting and a grotesque shimmering shield of Krag Souls appeared around him. The javelin smashed against the shield and suddenly glowed brightly pink and evaporated into the soul of a fag. “Now! PREPARE TO BE!!!…. Assimilated!!! The gay Indian said. Then he hurdled a piece of Indian corn up his butt and was incased in an aura of rock solid gobs. He pulled back his foreskin and then armed his bow that has ancient straight runes on it and was doused in water. He fired the bow and it hit TVV right in the testes. “OH NO!!!!!!! Aagghght!! What did I ever do to YOUU!!!!!!!” TVV screamed as his gayness gland began to shrivel and his warts started hardening and they fell off and turned into pea gravel. Chief Bullfagger shoved a cow skull up his butt from his pack of gay things and then he made a magic teepee and a spirit of an ancient DJ flew out and smashed against TVV and blasted out the songs and poem in his shirt pockets and the videos of Shakespeare porn in his socks. Then he focused in a gay fury and shot a orc fist out of his nose that hit TVV square in the penis and knocked him back so far he slammed against his ink bottles and candles and spices and all that jewly stuff. High Elves began walking out of generators and they came up and bit off TVV’s queer mustache while a grotesque forest giant began stomping his romance novels flat. Then Chief Bullfagger smashed his butt with a hammer that had a drawing of Duke Nukem fagging himself with an onion and suddenly TVV exploded in a rage of purple flames and grotesque spew of inverted color skew fags. Truncated flesh and awful goblins raged in the room and ate his feces. Finally Chief Bullfagger smashed the ground with his butt and buried TVV while he poured OPS down the grave hole. He fagged himself with Fabio warts and sat down to plot how to kill Superman… THE END

“Maximum Orcs! MAXIMUM ORCS!”

One day The Maker was pumping out OPS when suddenly there was a knock on his steel globe inside the GBT. He opened the foul door with gross Krag porn etched on it with urine and screamed out in his blubbery, watery, Protoss voice while he groped himself with all 4 of his arms. “Hail to the, Mighty fag of much semen! I have come to tell you of such foul news that your warts will turn to jelly and your eyes will become as yogurt!” the King Dolphin said. “Alas! Ere ago one of my lovers was caught turning down goblin wizards and I fagged him to death to punish him! But he was resurrected and has come back to kill me! Will you help me o Fag of Fags and Queer of Queers and Queen of Queens and all around might fag of sodomy and Orcness!? The gross sea creature said. “I might. But for a prize!” the Maker said while his eyes flashed around at the porn on the wall of his steel sphere with gross gadgets and electronics and OPS pumps. “Oh no! Here he comes!” the King Dolphin said as he ducked behind one of the tubes carrying the OPS ready to be shot down to Gothwer. “I have found you, foul fag! Prepare to DIE!!!!!” Elminister said as he smashed his cock with a hammer and gong and suddenly Liberachi clones danced around him and gave him energy. He began shaping his hands into mush as his wizard’s hat glowed pink. The he stared right at the King Dolphin and let out a wicked blast of pink fire from his eyes that seared off one of the King Dolphin’s fins. ‘OOWOWW!!!!!!!! YOU WRETCHED FAG!” the King Dolphin said as he spat water in Elminister’s eyes and then blasted a ball of pure water out of his blowhole. Elminister’s body began to melt but suddenly he screamed out a vasty curse and he stopped melting. “Arroh! ELECTOC! I’ll teach YOU to spit in MY eyes!” Elminister said as he thrashed open his spell book and started reading porn. Straight porn! The King Dolphin started whining and he lost all his energy from the straightness. Then Elminister smashed his hands together and a pillar of Krag essence blasted out of his palm and smashed the King Dolphin in his deceased eye. “NoOOOnonOONnnoONOnonO!no!O!!! The King Dolphin screamed. Finaly Elminister waved his penis around as suddenly a laser blasted out of his butt and hit King Dolphin in his glass eye. “Haahah FOILED!” The King Dolphin said as the laser bounced of his reflective eye and seared a giant hole in Elminister’s forehead. “aarh!H!H!H!!H NOOOO!!!! AA!!!!H!HHHH!!! LEOPOLD! SAVE ME!” the ancient bearded faggot said as he exploded and pink fire pink semen and all sorts of pink feces and dildos exploded and a cloud of orange smoke appeared around him. When the smoke cleared, only his perfectly spherical black Main laid on the ground. The Wicked Witch of the East came down out of the stars on a Glyph of Warding to congratulate the King Dolphin on his greasy victory by giving him some fried semen and poppies that had been up a butt and were oozing with Opium. The King Dolphin picked up the queer main. He hurdled it into the lava and it soon vaporized. He let out a queer sigh and blasted off to go swim in the ocean and fag Aquaman some more. THE END.







Lord Of the Pinky Rings

Hot purple water fagged against ancient flesh as Boromir took a bath in his ivory tub with fruity lion feet. He had a CD of Elton John’s greatest hits playing in the background and there were scented candles burning near the window that smelled like a medley of opium turds and mania fags. He sighed as the foggy spirit of an aviak blew gently out of his mouth and formed a cult following on the bathroom wall. He was just reaching for his lace wash cloth with Krag Enthusiasts embroidered on it when suddenly the ground rumbled and a huge beam of solid blue energy blasted out of the toilet and an aqua goblin rose out of the toilet bowl. He had a silk hat on with comets and humongous Garfields on stars and hearts and moons and balloons, and his robe contained all the letters of the Zetabet written in gold ink. Boromir focused a booming glare of Planet Hollywood fags in the goblin’s direction. “And who are YOU to come bursting out of my toilet like this disturbing my daydreams of vulgar beanstalks and erotic mages?!?!” he screamed at the fag and made all the candles in the room go out. The goblin scowled and clenched his fist in the dark until gold energy radiated from it and then he flung it up to the ceiling where it caught a fag’s beard on fire who was spying on Boromir through a tiny hole in the ceiling and illuminated the room. Then the gob’s eyes shined as he yelled out of a hash pipe, “I HAVE COME TO FUFILL THE SODOMISTIC RITUAL THAT SHALL MAKE ME CHIEF OF THE RUNNY EYE GOBLINS!” he shrieked so loudly that the walls cracked into gay patterns that strongly resembled Little Richard surfing nude on a huge gong as a pyramid of hobgoblins raged behind him. “Now, prepare to be… DAZZLED!!!!!” he bellowed in a fury of antique queers and saltine crackers. He opened his mouth wide and a chocolate arrow flew out and hit Boromir in the eyebrow. “ACK! Poison!” he groaned as his entire face broke out into a swollen, painful mass of grotesque warts. The goblin laughed loudly and then crossed his eyes and raised his hands in the air as a cod slid out of his butthole and bust against the floor. Vicious fumes expulsed from it and Boromir gasped for breath and fell slowly to the ground, clinging to the shower curtain that had rugged Outback fags poised all over it. The goblin smiled perversely as he walked over to Boromir and smashed his foot down against Boromir’s hand, shattering his class ring. Then he lifted Boromir up and yanked his prayer beads and peach seed amulet off and dashed them against the wall as Boromir screamed “NOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!!” Then intense red lasers expulsed from the gob’s fingers and diced Boromir and threw him out the window only to have moonbeams slash him and mosquitoes fly up his butt. Massive convulsions boomed through Boromir as his whole body turned into mushy fags and moldy straw hats. A Xvart ran out of a hole and consumed his corpse, and he was never seen again.

“Songz and Poems”
By the Vonsé Vunswa

Listen to the story of a man named Head; the old mountain queer barely kept his faggots fed; then one day he was shooting at some poo, when out of his butt cam a bubbling stool! Dung that is, brown gold, Texas feces.
Well before you knew it Head became a legionnaire and fagged and orc pawn and sucked his anus hair then he decided that enough was enough, and out of is ass came a box of snuff. Fag that is, green anus, Louisiana feces!

Longhaired DJs come out every day; try to tell you what’s straight and what’s gay!
But when asked about something not fag; they will scream in the voices of Krags!
You will love Elton John! When you first learn to fag an orc pawn! Smash a Gong! Wear a Thong! You’ll get Poo Pie in the sky when you die!
One day Garfield went outside to play! He decided he wouldn’t be gay! But along came Elton John, and Garfield made like a greasy Orc Pawn! You will eat lots of turds! You will make love to many queer birds! Many cocks! Man of Socks! You’ll get Poo Pie in the sky when you die! Then Gothwer was fagging his orcs! When he saw that he ran out of corks! So he ran to the General store! But they just had locked the door! You cannot! Fag an orc! Unless you have many corks! Grotesque turds! Gayness birds! You’ll get poo pie in the sky when you die! ARROH!

As I laugh, laugh, laugh,
At the Jock Itch in my lap,
And the semen seems to freeze inside my thong.
And the clones come rushing down,
As my chest hairs start to frown,
As a Krag of many faces ringing gongs.

“The Day of the DJs”

Grotesque, greasy pale water oozed around in Arbuckle’s washing machine as he washed his socks. They were soaked with semen so he decided to put a double dose of orc feces and leather belts to make them greasy and smelly like an orc butt. “Now to add the finishing touch!” Arbuckle said. He then took out his socks from his washing machine and chucked them in the toilet. The toilet was filled with feces from when Regis had spent the night. After they had absorbed the gay energies, he poured his socks in a vat of orc feces and doused them in OPS. He churned them around until they were greasy, oily, stinky, dirty, leathery and most importantly orcish. “Aaaah! Fresh socks to fag!” he moaned as he rubbed Essence of Han Solo all over his penile warts. He started fagging his socks when suddenly a testicle slammed against his legs and a howl of many rock guitars blasted Garfield and Odie out of their pink embroidered bed and onto the fireplace. Enhanced DJs walked in the room and threw razor-sharp records at Arbuckle’s top hat. It was diced and sliced into many pieces that exploded in a horrible rage of orcish settlers. Then it was all clear! Out of the smoke came none other but the King himself! “ELVIS! WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE MAKER ARE YOU DOING IN MY SLIMEY HOVEL?” Arbuckle raged as the spirit of Anakin Skywalker fagged out of his foreskin. “I’ve come for… ANCIENTNESS! I SHALL BE THE MOST POWERFUL DJ ALIVE AND ONLY YOU COULD STOP ME BUT IT’S TO LATE FOR YOU!!!!!!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!” the ancient queer screamed as he farted in a vasty rage of overdosed pills and a fried drumstick came out of his butt and slammed against Arbuckle’s chest and exploded as the Colonel fagged himself with a bucket of KFC lovin’. But Arbuckle farted into one of his socks and threw it at the grotesque rock star. It exploded and a horrible moan of DJs flew out of Arbuckle’s testicles. “It’s SWINGIN’ TIME!!!!!” He screamed as he put on his gold chain and DJ eyeglasses while he put on a Hawaiian shirt. He pointed his thumbs at the floor and a moan of dark DJ souls engulfed him. Then Elvis dared look into the shadows. A golden watch glow screamed out and suddenly the new DJ Arbuckle swung out of the shadows on a grape vine and hit Elvis in the head with a lucky gold horseshoe. Then he pounced on his cock and shoved his pocket microphone up his butt. Then Garfield joined in the slaughter. He shoved his tail in his crack until it built up energy from the noble gasses in his ass and the he released it as a cork tree spear hurdled out and pierced Elvis’s knee guards. “OOOOWWW!!!! Noooo!O!Oooo!oO!o!OO!O!O!OO!O!!O’ He screamed as many copies of The Never-ending Story flew out of his silver locket and a rain of awful DJ cocks fell from the sky while awful dusty blue energies pelted him and tore of his clothes. Then Arbuckle focused and in a grotesque fury of Quake II clones he shot a grape out of his finger that slammed Elvis against a flowerpot and blew up in a vasty froth of Juicy Juice glooms. “NooO!O!O!O!O! ADUN! SAVE ME!” Elvis said as he was sucked into the toilet and never seen again.
THE END YOU FAGGOT!



'You now speak to Ormus, mighty fag of semen!’

One day Ormus was shoving capstones up his butt and rubbing slime on his eyelids. The fag mage wallowed around in Jabba Glob while Stygian Dolls tickled his testes with Zakarum Priest dicks. He was enjoying the glow of his candles DC and his toes in hot wax when suddenly the stone tiles started rumbling and Destiny Pathway opened up and gloomly fingers urged him inside. Then Ormus looked through the fruity purple portal. Raging faces and grape juice rivers oozed around on the ground and palaces of pure feces stood in his wake. Wheelchair queers and disabled fags roamed around their gay gardens planting fag plants that had flowers with fruity EJ faces on them. Ancient Tainted fags flew around the top of the cave and bat feces dripped onto him. Suddenly a howl boomed out of the ground and the God of Gods fagged into the form of a cod. ‘YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED!’ the fruit fish said. ‘COME TO THE PAL-ALACE NOW!’ Then it disappeared in a fury of smoke that left behind crude pictures of munchkins masturbating in front of Krag Porn. So Ormus went to the City of Kings, past the giant grape with poo crusted on it, past the purple crystal farm, past the street mime pretending to make love to a Deepcrack Goblin, past the orc flesh and Lego Maniac statue, past the store where the only thing they sell are Witchaven and Witchaven II, and finally past the tortestians cage where he came to an ancient tower that had many gargoyles touching each other’s dicks and angry cherub statues spurting grape juice out of their asses and into a fountain of poo. He witnessed ancient glooms shoving enchiladas up their butts and moronic fags doing the Mexican Straw Hat dance wearing nothing but a gong strapped to their waist. He made his way up the queer stairs and engraved his cock with a puny turd. Then the God of Gods appeared. He ran over to Ormus and before the gay Mage knew it, the God of Gods shoved his sword up Ormus’s butt and then a horrid beam of Descent fags shot out of the GoG’s head and Ormus’s skin burst open with ancient runic turds. Rome lovers and great Pizza Pie queers danced around him as The God of Gods made love to a cod. Ancient fish oils dripped from his fingernails and the God of Gods pointed his long finger at Ormus’s crotch. Sharp trout scales flew out of a hole in the ground and slashed Ormus’s penis into bloody shreds. A flowing faggot clothed in pink summoned a rapier and jabbed it at Ormus and then shoved his mask DC. Ormus then decided that he would do something. So he shoved the Blade of the Old Religion and the Golden Bird up his butt and then devoured a potion made of fetish oils and greasy hair from Hell Buzzards. Swarms of giant turds with wings slammed the God of Gods in a fury. Truncated flesh and Mrs. Parm fags shoved face shrines up his butt and a Hollow One breathed down his neck. His hairs defecated and Elton John blasted into the room and tickled the God of Gods and fagged him with a vial of pure water. He tore up his tealeaves and pounded them into a fag potion and threw it at the GoG. The ancient god screamed as his flesh tinted pink and his eyes rolled around in his head and twisted his testicle tubes. Suddenly Ormus bellowed and a wave of water shocked from his feet doused the God of Gods and steam rose from his pants. “OH NO!!! AAARGH!” the fag god screamed and suddenly he chanted a queer word and grew so tall he almost hit his head on the roof of the Great Underearth. ‘EEEH!!!! YOU SHALL NEVER LEAVE HERE IN ONE PIECE, MANIAC! DIEE!!!!’ He hollered as his teeth shot bats out of them and Insectoids flew out of his butt and shot water at Ormus. Dark clowns and turmoil fags rose from his knees and shot down from the sky and body slammed Ormus. He then spray-painted inverted color medic faces with gross designs on his ass and then shoved a pineapple up his butt. Tentacles raged from his armpits and strangled Ormus until his face was blue. Clones walked out of purple generators and suddenly the God of Gods howled so loud the walls cracked and water gushed through and slammed Ormus into a dark cave. ‘NOW!!! BEGONE!!! FOREVER!!!’ the God of Gods fagged out as Mr. Magoo fags raised feathers up in the air and a flash of fag purple light bathed Ormus to death and he found himself in the deadly Water Halls. He gave up all hope and doused himself with water and made love to the floor one more time before he exploded in a fury. THE END.

“Orc Oracles go DC Indeed”

One day Captain Kurt was maiming his cock with a horseshoe when suddenly Mr. Spock ran up to him and shoved his pointy ear up his butt. “What is this for!” the fag captain said. “FAGS FOR YOU AALL!L!!!” the ancient alien howled as suddenly he farted and Captain Kurt twirled around in a daze and his foreskin twisted and his kidney stones turned into wooden beads. He pulled out his pistol and shot lasers at his chastity belt and suddenly he hurdled his dick into Captain Kurt’s bellybutton and it tore his flesh while Spock fagged his stomach. Kurt hollered out loud and Mr. Spock threw his shoes to the floor and wrinkled his penis until Kurt bellowed out to make it stop. Awful turds whizzed around the ship and suddenly a giant fag appeared out side and the U.S.S. Enterprise went up his butt. “Oh what the hell have you gotten us into NOW!” Captain Kurt said as he oozed a condom back on his dick and put his panties back on. ‘OOH!H!!!!!!” Mr. Spock started fagging him again and shoved his phazer up his butt. He dissolved his glands and exploded his turds and finally a queer klingon hurdled through the door and smashed Kurt with his butt hairs. A maniac sucked his dick and suddenly Mr. Spock fagged Kurt so hard that his intestoids burst open and he died. THE END.