BREAKING:

Harvard scientists change questionnaire on sexuality after public outcry. It now no longer asks the problematic question "How gay are you on a scale of one to ten?". After thousands of enraged tweets, e-mails and calls accusing the university of bigotry and homophobia the new version now reads "How gay are you on a scale of one to eleven?"

"This is a great victory against oppression. Personally, I've always felt marginalized by the questionnaire. One to ten? Yoy gotta be kidding me! I always knew I was an eleven."