The reason that conservatives are such losers is that everything they want to conserve is doomed from the start.

In biology there is a mostly discredited idea called group selection which was a theory about how biologists attempted to explain altruism in animals back in the early 20th century. What biologists have understood since then is that individual selection is much stronger than group selection, which means that an animal's instincts will be much more attuned to its own survival and reproduction and it will not sacrifice its own reproduction for the survival of the group. Any behavior that appears to be something like self-sacrifice for the survival of the group is actually going to serve the animal's individual reproduction in some way that is not visible unless you look closer.

For example, suppose that there is a group of animals and we observe that they risk their own lives by exposing themselves to act as guards that will warn the rest of the group if ther...