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Central Thought
The exclusive, sexual union of a man and his wife should mirror the exclusive, spiritual union of God the Son and His church, according to Ephesians 5:25-33.
Outline
There Is a ______________.
Jesus and the church are one body spiritually (1 Corinthians 6:17; Ephesians 5:30-32; 1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 4:12), having made a covenant with His blood (Jeremiah 31:31; Luke 22:20; 1 Corinthians 11:25; 2 Corinthians 3:6; Hebrews 8:8-13; Revelation 13:8). A husband and his wife are one body sexually (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5-6, Mark 10:8; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Song 2:16; 6:3; 7:10), having made a life-long (Romans 7:1-3) covenant (Malachi 2:14-15; c.f. Proverbs 2:17). For more on God’s relationship with His people in the Old Testament, see Ezekiel 16 and the book of Hosea.
Side Note: What about divorce?
Because of the nation’s sins, God divorced Israel (Isaiah 50:1). Divorce and remarriage is not adultery if the spouse broke the covenant with sexual unfaithfulness (Matthew 5:32; 19:9). Also, if an unbelieving spouse abandons the believing spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), the abandoned believer is free to marry a believer (1 Corinthians 7:39). Otherwise, divorce and remarriage is adultery (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:1-12). It is also possible for a wife to separate (but not remarry) from her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). In the Old Testament, God did not give the man the option to divorce her if he had sex with her before marriage (Deuteronomy 22:19, 29). Divorce is a concession to human sinfulness, not an expression of God’s ideal (Matthew 10:5-9; c.f. 1 Corinthians 10:23). C.S. Lewis wrote that “[all denominations] regard divorce as something like cutting up a living body, as a kind of surgical operation.”
Source: C.S. Lewis. Mere Christianity. Book III: Christian Behavior. Chapter 8: Christian Marriage. Page 96. Macmillan Publishing, 1952: New York.
This Is an ______________ Union.
God desires exclusive devotion from His people (Hosea 2:16; James 4:4), including all of one’s heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27). God desires exclusive sexual devotion between husband and wife (Hebrews 13:4), including exclusiveness in desire (Matthew 5:28 and Song of Songs 7:10). C.f. Job 31:1, Proverbs 6:25, and 2 Samuel 11:2. God desires this (the exclusive sexual devotion between man and wife) so much that God will send to Hell those who adulterate in the body (1 Corinthians 6:9) or in the heart (Matthew 5:28-29), unless they repent (Psalm 51). Epithumaesai is the Greek word for “lust” in Matthew 5:28, and the same root (epithumeo) appears in Matthew 13:17, Luke 15:16, 16:21, 17:22, 22:15, Acts 20:33, Romans 7:7, 13:9, 1 Corinthians 10:6, Galatians 5:17, 1 Timothy 3:1, Hebrews 6:11, James 4:2, 1 Peter 1:12 and Revelation 9:6. Source: GreatTreasures.org.
Side Note: What about multiple wives?
The Bible includes several tragic stories of polygamy. For varied reasons, several individuals - Abraham in Genesis 16, Jacob in Genesis 29, Elkanah in 1 Samuel 1, David in 1 Samuel 27:3, 2 Samuel 5:13, and 2 Samuel 11, Solomon in 1 Kings 11:3 and Ecclesiastes 2:8 - had multiple wives and/or concubines. There was discord between Abraham’s wife Sarai and concubine Hagar (Genesis 16:4-6), and there was discord between Hagar’s son and Sarai’s son (Genesis 16:12; 21:8-20). Jacob hated one wife (Genesis 29:31,33 and loved another wife (Genesis 29:18 and 29:30), and the two wives competed viciously over him (Genesis 29:31-35 through Genesis 30:1-24); eventually, a son of Jacob’s beloved wife was sold into slavery by the sons of Jacob’s hated wife (Genesis 35:24 and 37:28). One of Elkanah’s wives was infertile, resulting in strife (1 Samuel 1). After David took another man’s wife (2 Samuel 11), there was turmoil among the children of his wives (2 Samuel 13-18). Solomon’s wives led him into idolatry (1 Kings 11:4). Many years ago, if a man died without a son, the man’s brother would provide the man’s wife with a son who would receive the dead man’s inheritance in Genesis 38:6-10 and Deuteronomy 25:5 (C.f. Matthew 22:25; Mark 12:20; Luke 20:29). One of the lawes of the Old Testament ensures a son’s inheritance rights if his father has multiple wives and if his father hated his mother (Deuteronomy 21:15-17). In the local church, an elder must have only one wife (1 Timothy 3:2), and a deacon must have only one wife (1 Timothy 3:12).
The Union Is Between A Man and His ______________, Not a Man and Something Else.
Jesus will sanctify and glorify those who love him and are called (Romans 8:28-30), not those who disbelieve (John 3:36) nor those who disobey (Matthew 7:21). The man may become one with an eligible woman. According to Leviticus 20:10-21, a man was not to become one with his neighbor’s wife, with his father’s wife (c.f. 1 Corinthians 5), with his daughter-in-law, with a man (c.f. Genesis 13:13; Genesis 19; Romans 1:24-28; 1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:10; Judges 19-20, especially Judges 20:23,28; Jude 1:7), with a woman and her mother, with an animal (c.f. Genesis 2:19-20), with his sister (c.f. Genesis 20:12; 2 Samuel 13), with a woman during her period, with his aunt, with his uncle’s wife, nor with his brother’s wife (c.f. Matthew 14:3-4; Mark 6:17-18; Luke 3:19). A man should not marry a woman who has been divorced (Matthew 5:32); it is probably lawful for a man to marry a divorced woman whose husband either was not sexually faithful (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) or abandoned her for her faith (1 Corinthians 7:15,39).
In This Union, the Man Loves Like ______________ Loved.
Jesus loved the church at an infinite cost (Ephesians 5:25; Philippians 2:4-8), even when she did not deserve it (Romans 5:8). God desires the husband to love his wife self-sacrifically as he loves himself without bitterness (Colossians 3:19) and without harshness (Colossians 3:19) but with understanding and honor for her who is different and equal (1 Peter 3:7-9). God desires this so much that the husband’s prayers might be hindered if a husband does not honor his wife (1 Peter 3:7-9); God has even been known to kill wicked husbands in the past (Genesis 38:6-10; 1 Samuel 25).
Quotation:
“This headship [of the husband]... is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is in her own mere nature least lovable. For the Church has no beauty but what the Bridegroom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely. The chrism of this terrible coronation is to be seen not in the joys of any man’s marriage but in its sorrows, unwearying (never paraded) care or his inexhaustible forgiveness: forgiveness, not acquiescence. …[Headship like Christ is a crown] of thorns. The real danger is not that husbands may grasp [this crown] too eagerly; but that they will allow or compel their wives to usurp it.” ~ C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves. Chapter V: Eros. Pages 148 and 150.
In This Union, the Wife Submits Like the ______________ Submits.
The church submits to Jesus as its head (Ephesians 5:23), loving as a response to His love (1 John 4:19). Likewise, the wife submits to her husband (1 Peter 3:1,5; Colossians 3:18) as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, 24) without any fear (1 Peter 3:6). The wife is to persuade an unbelieving husband 1 Peter 3:1) by the beauty of her spirit and behavior (1 Peter 3:4). It is preferable to live solitary than with a wife who quarrels (Proverbs 19:13; 21:9; 27:15) and frets (Proverbs 21:19) with a loud voice (Proverbs 9:13); but like a crown (Proverbs 12:4) “far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10) is the excellent wife who fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:30) and is diligent (Proverbs 19:14; 31:10-31). If the wife does not understand something at church, she can ask her husband at home (1 Corinthians 14:35). Quietness seems to be a common attribute of a godly woman (1 Timothy 2:11-12; 1 Corinthians 13:34; 1 Peter 3:4).
Side Note: House wife?
In Proverbs 31, the excellent wife produces merchandise (verse 13), provides food (14-15), buys and develops business real estate (16), and ensures her success with diligence (18-19). In Titus 2:3-5, older women are told to teach the younger woman to work at home. In both passages, the wives seem focused on supporting their husbands and children.
God Is the Means and End of Marriage.
He is the ______________ of success and source of the forgiveness.
We can do nothing fruitful apart from Christ (John 15:1-10). God causes us to live a life that pleases Him (Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 10:14; 13:21) through unto the end of our days (Jude 24-25; 1 Corinthians 1:8; 1 Thessalonians 3:13; 5:23-24). Also, God expects us to fail multiple times a day (Matthew 6:12), and He will forgive us if we forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15; 18:35; Mark 11:25). “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 ESV) See also Hebrews 4:16.
God is the ______________ of everything.
Everything was created by Him and for Him (Colossians 1:16). Every action [including marriage] should aim to make much of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). God even gives some the ability to accept the superior focus of life-long celibacy (Matthew 19:10-12); but others lack the gift of self control (1 Corinthians 7:7-9) and wish to marry a certain someone (1 Corinthians 7:36). When marriage ends in death (Matthew 22:30; Mark 12:25), the honor of Christ will remain our aim (Philippians 1:20).
Answer Key: union, exclusive, wife, Jesus, church, source, purpose.
The exclusive, sexual union of a man and his wife should mirror the exclusive, spiritual union of God the Son and His church, according to Ephesians 5:25-33.
Outline
There Is a ______________.
Jesus and the church are one body spiritually (1 Corinthians 6:17; Ephesians 5:30-32; 1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 4:12), having made a covenant with His blood (Jeremiah 31:31; Luke 22:20; 1 Corinthians 11:25; 2 Corinthians 3:6; Hebrews 8:8-13; Revelation 13:8). A husband and his wife are one body sexually (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5-6, Mark 10:8; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Song 2:16; 6:3; 7:10), having made a life-long (Romans 7:1-3) covenant (Malachi 2:14-15; c.f. Proverbs 2:17). For more on God’s relationship with His people in the Old Testament, see Ezekiel 16 and the book of Hosea.
Side Note: What about divorce?
Because of the nation’s sins, God divorced Israel (Isaiah 50:1). Divorce and remarriage is not adultery if the spouse broke the covenant with sexual unfaithfulness (Matthew 5:32; 19:9). Also, if an unbelieving spouse abandons the believing spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), the abandoned believer is free to marry a believer (1 Corinthians 7:39). Otherwise, divorce and remarriage is adultery (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:1-12). It is also possible for a wife to separate (but not remarry) from her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). In the Old Testament, God did not give the man the option to divorce her if he had sex with her before marriage (Deuteronomy 22:19, 29). Divorce is a concession to human sinfulness, not an expression of God’s ideal (Matthew 10:5-9; c.f. 1 Corinthians 10:23). C.S. Lewis wrote that “[all denominations] regard divorce as something like cutting up a living body, as a kind of surgical operation.”
Source: C.S. Lewis. Mere Christianity. Book III: Christian Behavior. Chapter 8: Christian Marriage. Page 96. Macmillan Publishing, 1952: New York.
This Is an ______________ Union.
God desires exclusive devotion from His people (Hosea 2:16; James 4:4), including all of one’s heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27). God desires exclusive sexual devotion between husband and wife (Hebrews 13:4), including exclusiveness in desire (Matthew 5:28 and Song of Songs 7:10). C.f. Job 31:1, Proverbs 6:25, and 2 Samuel 11:2. God desires this (the exclusive sexual devotion between man and wife) so much that God will send to Hell those who adulterate in the body (1 Corinthians 6:9) or in the heart (Matthew 5:28-29), unless they repent (Psalm 51). Epithumaesai is the Greek word for “lust” in Matthew 5:28, and the same root (epithumeo) appears in Matthew 13:17, Luke 15:16, 16:21, 17:22, 22:15, Acts 20:33, Romans 7:7, 13:9, 1 Corinthians 10:6, Galatians 5:17, 1 Timothy 3:1, Hebrews 6:11, James 4:2, 1 Peter 1:12 and Revelation 9:6. Source: GreatTreasures.org.
Side Note: What about multiple wives?
The Bible includes several tragic stories of polygamy. For varied reasons, several individuals - Abraham in Genesis 16, Jacob in Genesis 29, Elkanah in 1 Samuel 1, David in 1 Samuel 27:3, 2 Samuel 5:13, and 2 Samuel 11, Solomon in 1 Kings 11:3 and Ecclesiastes 2:8 - had multiple wives and/or concubines. There was discord between Abraham’s wife Sarai and concubine Hagar (Genesis 16:4-6), and there was discord between Hagar’s son and Sarai’s son (Genesis 16:12; 21:8-20). Jacob hated one wife (Genesis 29:31,33 and loved another wife (Genesis 29:18 and 29:30), and the two wives competed viciously over him (Genesis 29:31-35 through Genesis 30:1-24); eventually, a son of Jacob’s beloved wife was sold into slavery by the sons of Jacob’s hated wife (Genesis 35:24 and 37:28). One of Elkanah’s wives was infertile, resulting in strife (1 Samuel 1). After David took another man’s wife (2 Samuel 11), there was turmoil among the children of his wives (2 Samuel 13-18). Solomon’s wives led him into idolatry (1 Kings 11:4). Many years ago, if a man died without a son, the man’s brother would provide the man’s wife with a son who would receive the dead man’s inheritance in Genesis 38:6-10 and Deuteronomy 25:5 (C.f. Matthew 22:25; Mark 12:20; Luke 20:29). One of the lawes of the Old Testament ensures a son’s inheritance rights if his father has multiple wives and if his father hated his mother (Deuteronomy 21:15-17). In the local church, an elder must have only one wife (1 Timothy 3:2), and a deacon must have only one wife (1 Timothy 3:12).
The Union Is Between A Man and His ______________, Not a Man and Something Else.
Jesus will sanctify and glorify those who love him and are called (Romans 8:28-30), not those who disbelieve (John 3:36) nor those who disobey (Matthew 7:21). The man may become one with an eligible woman. According to Leviticus 20:10-21, a man was not to become one with his neighbor’s wife, with his father’s wife (c.f. 1 Corinthians 5), with his daughter-in-law, with a man (c.f. Genesis 13:13; Genesis 19; Romans 1:24-28; 1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:10; Judges 19-20, especially Judges 20:23,28; Jude 1:7), with a woman and her mother, with an animal (c.f. Genesis 2:19-20), with his sister (c.f. Genesis 20:12; 2 Samuel 13), with a woman during her period, with his aunt, with his uncle’s wife, nor with his brother’s wife (c.f. Matthew 14:3-4; Mark 6:17-18; Luke 3:19). A man should not marry a woman who has been divorced (Matthew 5:32); it is probably lawful for a man to marry a divorced woman whose husband either was not sexually faithful (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) or abandoned her for her faith (1 Corinthians 7:15,39).
In This Union, the Man Loves Like ______________ Loved.
Jesus loved the church at an infinite cost (Ephesians 5:25; Philippians 2:4-8), even when she did not deserve it (Romans 5:8). God desires the husband to love his wife self-sacrifically as he loves himself without bitterness (Colossians 3:19) and without harshness (Colossians 3:19) but with understanding and honor for her who is different and equal (1 Peter 3:7-9). God desires this so much that the husband’s prayers might be hindered if a husband does not honor his wife (1 Peter 3:7-9); God has even been known to kill wicked husbands in the past (Genesis 38:6-10; 1 Samuel 25).
Quotation:
“This headship [of the husband]... is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is in her own mere nature least lovable. For the Church has no beauty but what the Bridegroom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely. The chrism of this terrible coronation is to be seen not in the joys of any man’s marriage but in its sorrows, unwearying (never paraded) care or his inexhaustible forgiveness: forgiveness, not acquiescence. …[Headship like Christ is a crown] of thorns. The real danger is not that husbands may grasp [this crown] too eagerly; but that they will allow or compel their wives to usurp it.” ~ C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves. Chapter V: Eros. Pages 148 and 150.
In This Union, the Wife Submits Like the ______________ Submits.
The church submits to Jesus as its head (Ephesians 5:23), loving as a response to His love (1 John 4:19). Likewise, the wife submits to her husband (1 Peter 3:1,5; Colossians 3:18) as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, 24) without any fear (1 Peter 3:6). The wife is to persuade an unbelieving husband 1 Peter 3:1) by the beauty of her spirit and behavior (1 Peter 3:4). It is preferable to live solitary than with a wife who quarrels (Proverbs 19:13; 21:9; 27:15) and frets (Proverbs 21:19) with a loud voice (Proverbs 9:13); but like a crown (Proverbs 12:4) “far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10) is the excellent wife who fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:30) and is diligent (Proverbs 19:14; 31:10-31). If the wife does not understand something at church, she can ask her husband at home (1 Corinthians 14:35). Quietness seems to be a common attribute of a godly woman (1 Timothy 2:11-12; 1 Corinthians 13:34; 1 Peter 3:4).
Side Note: House wife?
In Proverbs 31, the excellent wife produces merchandise (verse 13), provides food (14-15), buys and develops business real estate (16), and ensures her success with diligence (18-19). In Titus 2:3-5, older women are told to teach the younger woman to work at home. In both passages, the wives seem focused on supporting their husbands and children.
God Is the Means and End of Marriage.
He is the ______________ of success and source of the forgiveness.
We can do nothing fruitful apart from Christ (John 15:1-10). God causes us to live a life that pleases Him (Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 10:14; 13:21) through unto the end of our days (Jude 24-25; 1 Corinthians 1:8; 1 Thessalonians 3:13; 5:23-24). Also, God expects us to fail multiple times a day (Matthew 6:12), and He will forgive us if we forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15; 18:35; Mark 11:25). “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 ESV) See also Hebrews 4:16.
God is the ______________ of everything.
Everything was created by Him and for Him (Colossians 1:16). Every action [including marriage] should aim to make much of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). God even gives some the ability to accept the superior focus of life-long celibacy (Matthew 19:10-12); but others lack the gift of self control (1 Corinthians 7:7-9) and wish to marry a certain someone (1 Corinthians 7:36). When marriage ends in death (Matthew 22:30; Mark 12:25), the honor of Christ will remain our aim (Philippians 1:20).
Answer Key: union, exclusive, wife, Jesus, church, source, purpose.
