goatmeal

Joined Apr 16, 2018

send your occult wisdom email or xmpp [email protected] HAIL ERIS PRAISE "BOB"

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goatmeal
2319d
myself, I am a sight! My physical type cannot be classified by science, my `familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed it dipshits! I communicate without wires or strings! I am a Thuggee, I am feared in the Tongs, I have the
goatmeal
2319d
Whoop! I'm ready! So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o' wimp meat! I'm a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane! I'm a screamer and a laugher, I make a spectacle of
goatmeal
2319d
up for me to bleed my lizard! My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my spoor on the Rock of Ages, who'll tear flesh with me, who'll spill their juice? Who'll gouge with me, whose candle will I fart out?
goatmeal
2319d
I'm thicker, harder and meaner than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I'll freeze your seed before it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made Time wait
goatmeal
2319d
highest number there is. Well by God! I count to a godzillion and one! Yes, I'm the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I use a python for a prophylactic
goatmeal
2319d
ideal playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think backwards! I do it for fun! My imagination is a fucking cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me! They say a
followed 2319d
goatmeal
2319d
in zero gravity, come and get me! I've sired retarded space bastards across the Cosmos, I cook and eat my dead; YAH-HOOOO, I'm the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil's hands are my
goatmeal
2319d
I'm a bacteriological weapon, I'm armed and loaded! I'm a fission reactor, I fart plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug me in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds
goatmeal
2319d
I cannot be tracked on radar! I wear nothing uniform, I wear no god damn uniform! Yes baby, I'm 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the Anti-Virgin a high-protien tonsil wash
goatmeal
2319d
I drank the Devil under seven tables, I am too intense to die, I'm insured for acts o' God and Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews from a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps!
goatmeal
2319d
Homo Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future! I'll drive a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the first god damn water! Yes, I'm the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars!
goatmeal
2319d
never in my days have I spoken other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including this very one you hear! I say, `Fuck'em if they can't take a joke!' By God, `Anything for a laugh', I say. I am the last remaining
goatmeal
2319d
of God and man bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I've been casting out the False Prohets; I'm busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a loaf! For I speak only the fucking Truth, and
goatmeal
2319d
goatmeal
2319d
SHUT UP OR STAND UP!

A fragment. Transcribed from a cassette tape recording made at a seance in 1973.

"I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the fucking gods out of my nose! Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons
goatmeal
2323d
set profile 2326d
send your occult wisdom email or xmpp [email protected] HAIL ERIS PRAISE "BOB"
followed 2326d
Bitcoin Faucet
2327d
Giving away 100,000 Satoshis to the first 200 likes/follows!
goatmeal
2332d
discord goatmeal#7597 reddit goatmeal01 voat goatmeal xmpp [email protected]
goatmeal
2345d
(i <3 BCH community. send your occult wisdom and ideas to [email protected])
goatmeal
2345d
our hour of need. And abunt strength lend to our powers of reason.
goatmeal
2345d
hostile impious counsels, arrogant and base. And give us beneficent aid in
goatmeal
2345d
mystics under Your protection. Far avert from us, Oh Nemesis, dire and